LINCOLN PARK — Bachata music emanates from Never Have I Ever, a bar in Lincoln Park, on a sunny Sunday afternoon in May.
Inside is a diverse crowd of mostly LGBTQ+ women learning the steps to bachata; passersby can hear the sounds of their feet as they move in unison to the rhythm of “Obsesión,” a song by Dominican American band Aventura.
“Take a sip … Now take another sip,” said dance instructor Becky Medina. “I’m prepping you to throw it back for the rest of the night.”
For the next several hours, the bar is filled with over 80 women laughing, dancing, flirting, hanging out and enjoying each other’s company. The “Purro Pereo” party wraps up at 8 p.m., a reasonable time for partygoers to go home and prepare for the week ahead.
The event is part of an ongoing effort by the group Lovers and Friends Chicago to create more parties and social events for queer women 30 and older.
It’s an idea that sprung up last year between friends Keli Knight and Yoly Rojas. Rojas, a reality TV star from Netflix’s “The Ultimatum,” was looking for love. She turned to Knight for suggestions on how or where to find a partner — but the two were stuck.
Both women, in their late 30s and early 40s, realized they didn’t know where the social hot spots are.
“I realized that I don’t really go out as much as I used to. And I don’t think people in general, at least our age, do,” said Knight, a Hyde Park native.
So the two friends decided to make their own event. Through Knight’s connections, the duo set up what they thought would be a small happy hour event at Revolver in Wicker Park.
“We thought people would come in and sit at the bar and just chat, stand around, have a couple drinks and leave,” Knight said.
Instead, about 100 people showed up — with a line forming to get in. The crowd shocked the two friends.
More than a year later, the group has taken off. Knight and Rojas now curate “lesbian-forward events” a few times a month across the city under the name Lovers and Friends Chicago.
The events typically run 3-8 p.m. Sundays and have a true “Sunday Funday” vibe, Knight said. Rojas and Knight work to curate their “dream parties,” where older Black and Brown queer women and allies can have a space to kick back and have fun.
“We wanted to gear it where the music, dress code and the vibe in general targets our demographic. … That’s why we do ’90s hip-hop and R&B. Just that type of music from our demographic and time,” Knight said.
There’s more that goes on behind the scenes in planning these events. The group wants to make sure venues are inclusive down to the dress code, which other events often use to exclude people of color and masculine-presenting women, Knight said.
“Nowadays, sneakers, hoodies and hats can be actually very fashion-forward. … When you have those venues that are automatically, ‘We don’t do this. We don’t do that’ — that doesn’t work for us,” Knight said.
Knight said it has been difficult to book a venue for a Friday or Saturday event. Venues underestimated “lesbians and their spending power,” so the Lovers and Friends organizers had to pick through whatever availability was open — which is what led to their daytime Sunday events.
When the group got to the point that organizers could start choosing a Friday or Saturday, they realized Sundays were the most convenient.
“Friday night, people work all day, then you’re tired at our age. … Saturday just started to feel more like this is for running errands and this is for family,” Knight said. “Sunday is like OK, we’ve taken care of our responsibilities for the week … let’s party.”
‘Definitely Something That Chicago Has Been Needing’
Lover and Friends has grown exponentially, consistently attracting crowds of 250 people or more during peak summer weather. The group has started branching off, hosting parties in other cities and highlighting different genres, like Latin music.
Last month, during the group’s second Latina-focused event, women traveled from across the city and suburbs to attend.
Paola Olivo said she loves to dance salsa and bachata and drove in from the suburbs specifically for Puro Perrero.
“A lot of times when I go salsa dancing it’s very hetero … so that’s why I’m really interested in coming here to be in a more queer, women-centered environment for dancing,” Olivo said.
Olivo’s friends, Carolina Albarran and Vero Castro, agree. The three women are single and said they find Lovers and Friends a good environment to mingle with other queer women in the city.
“Definitely something that Chicago has been needing … something like 30-plus and targeted towards queer woman. I’ll be attending more of these,” Castro said.
For girlfriends Janelle Portugal and Dyona Tate, Lovers and Friends is a great date-night activity. The pair have been together for four years, moving to Chicago about two and a half years ago from Dallas.
Dallas only has one lesbian bar, so moving to Chicago, which is more LGBTQ+ friendly, was refreshing, Tate said. The couple attended their first Lovers and Friends event in November and have continuously come back since.
“It’s a good space. It’s like a safe space. … It is nice to have those specific spaces … that are for minorities and play our music. A place where we can … hold hands or kiss and nobody is gawking,” Tate said.
While bachata music plays, Portugal and Tate dance in each other’s arms. They laugh, smile and kiss, swaying back and forth to the music as others gather around and do the same.
The room has the perfect amount of energy for Portugal, who said she appreciates that Lovers and Friends’ outings are designed for people 30 and older.
“It’s just a space where we can be relaxed, and everyone is not so worried about looks and everybody’s not so worried about finding someone. … We can come here and have fun and not worry,” Portugal said.
“Less messy,” Tate chimes in with a laugh.
Knight and Rojas are working on growing the brand, offering larger parties and events outside Chicago in addition to drilling down to offer the “perfect vibe.”
Some of this includes starting to offer welcome shots and doing “cute little giveaways.” The group will soon launch its own merchandise line.
“It’s always been something close to my heart to be involved in something positive for our community and to give people space,” Knight said. “To know that there’s people coming from other cities is amazing, but it’s also sad because it sounds like you don’t have that in your city … that’s something that we’re working on, too, is traveling and carrying our vibe around to different cities.”
And yes, you can bring your straight friends, Knight said.
But not everything needs to be organized around a party atmosphere. Knight said she hopes to launch niche events like speed-dating and get-togethers for parents, offering a little something for everyone.
Lovers and Friends’ annual Pride event is 3-8 p.m. June 30 at Kashmir, a co*cktail bar in the West Loop. Tickets are $30 if bought ahead of time.
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